It’s been a week since I tendered my resignation from the firm I have worked for almost four years. It wasn’t easy but I feel that it was the right thing to do. Though I’m scared of breaking the habit I was accustomed doing and the familiarity I am used to, it felt like it was just time for me to move on. And though I regret leaving friends, I feel the change will be beneficial to my long-term career plans.
The decision wasn’t a hasty one. I’ve been thinking about it since October of last year. But because of the sense of gratitude I have towards my boss and the financial security my work has provided me, I abandoned my plans, including two good employment offers. I don’t know if I made the right decision of staying then, but recalling the events after October, there is nothing good I can think of that happened to me, aside from developing a special feeling with a girl (which happened early February of this year). Though the latter didn’t prosper into anything better, it was enough I guess to compensate to all the negative things that happened.
Though it’s just normal to leave the public practice after some time, friends are still asking why I will leave the firm. Many believe that the recent event lead to my decision. Maybe but it’s more of just a triggering event. When I didn’t receive my bonus in full, I felt devastated. I felt I was cheated by the firm. I wanted to quit that very moment I learn their issue against me. But I didn’t. It would be like giving them a favor if I did. But then again, it affected to me so much and my morale hit an all time low. I know I have to quit sooner or be stuck again.
Aside from that, the main reason for my leaving remains to be because of my fear of stagnation. Recently, I have said to my co-seniors that life in the firm ends when one becomes a senior. There was nothing more left in the ladder of growth than to move laterally. The firm has become fond of hiring supervisors and managers from outside or pirating others from the Big 4 that they neglect the homegrown talents or seniors who have been with them for at least two years. That is sad. For someone as ambitious as I am, that’s terrible. Also, any promotion for me has become vague after the recent event.
Another reason is that my theory of inverse relationship between growth for an entity and its people-oriented core value must be real. The firm has been busy planning meeting their target income. They have implemented a lot of cost-cutting measures that lead to dissatisfaction of employees, including no pay for overtimes and red tape on reimbursement of company-related expenses incurred by staff. Even on issuance of supplies such as sign pen and tissues has been limited, if not stopped. To read in their minutes of meeting about time charges and overtime pay, to let the staff “bleed” is much upsetting. I hope they won’t focus so much on earning ‘coz they will lose the prized asset, the unsung heroes of the firm- the people.
What nerves me off, which is another factor, is the losing essence of our human resources department. The HR that should be concern of the welfare of the employees has become a nuisance and most of the time, a troublemaker. I hope they realize this. Try soliciting opinions about the HR, the response will be an overwhelming whine. Further, the qualities of people they are hiring are deteriorating. Office politics have gone out of control. I have survived four tax or busy seasons in the firm and each passing year, I am getting used to unbelievable work loads, the more than 8 hours of work and dealing with more difficult people. But I think my stock of understanding and patience has run out this time. It’s time to replace the difficult people with pleasant ones. Friends will forever be cherished wherever I am.
The last reason, which is such a cliché but so true in all cases, is the great opportunity waiting for me outside. I know I owe a lot to the firm for honing my skills and contributing to my competence and market value, but I think I have already paid my dues. All the sleepless nights, unpaid overtime, shattered pride, I think it’s them who owe me now. Hearing stories from colleagues who left the firm and those who lead the road most traveled, it’s only normal to crave what they have achieved. Further, coming out from the Chairman’s mouth, he wants us to become future leaders or captains of the industry which I think is unrealizable if one will stay for long in the firm. Three years and eight months of stay is already long. In my opinion, the firm is not that equipped to develop on its own someone to be at par with the industry leaders. We have to gain that outside, from graduate school, from other company or even from competitors. And that’s what I’m aiming for to learn more and widen my spectrum. I want the time to come that the firm will be proud of me and claim that I have been part of their organization. I hope to do the same with the firm- be proud of the firm where I came from without explaining why.
Despite the criticisms and untoward emotions I have for some people in the firm, I have to admit that I am leaving the firm with a heavy heart. I will miss the people, the friends who have contributed so much to my character, to my maturity. They have become my sole reason for staying. I will forever be grateful for the opportunity of meeting all of them. If it wasn’t for the firm, I wouldn’t get to know these wonderful people. For all the love, respect, fun, regret, lost opportunity, pain, challenges, friendship and everything, thank you. They are all a part of me now. My resignation doesn’t end anything between me and them. Leaving is not saying goodbye, rather it’s ‘see you later’.
I pray God will guide me in to my next journey, which I know He will, and hope that He’ll lead me into a place with more opportunities and happiness, where I can provide more to my family and myself, without neglecting my obligations as a servant of You. God bless me!
Even if the decision has been made a week ago, I am still fazed with the uncertainty waiting for me at the end of the month. There’s no job waiting for me yet. That is why I am cramming sending out my résumé to various companies, including clients, in the hope of getting one soon. I almost secure one but I have to decline for not meeting my target income. I’m not being choosy. I’d like to believe that quality comes with a price. =)