It would be hypocrisy if I will say that I don’t regret anything while I’m still with the firm. And I don’t think there’s one single person who doesn’t have one after leaving. There will always be something you wished you did or you wish you had, including petty things. I have a lot on my list and most of them come not from the commission but from not doing or having certain things. Of all I have enumerated in my mind, there’s something that floats above everything else- having a girlfriend. Despite falling for some girls twice and liking another, it didn’t deepen (at least on their part) to become a real relationship. It has always been a one-sided thing. Is it really such a curse to be me?

You will read it here first that I have never had a serious relationship with a girl for twenty four years. Yes, since birth. Semi-dating, exclusively seeing each other, that’s always been the set-up. I wanted something more. I know it is very unlikely but yes I am craving for a certain degree of commitments. Maybe I’m getting old that’s why I am thinking about it lately. But marriage is not on my plans for at least the next three years. I just want a steady company- someone I can drag to the cinemas or join me in my run or in my other activities. God knows I have a constant need for attention and care like a baby. I have always look forward of meeting her in the firm or through it. Am I not ready?

But hey, don’t mind what I have just said. I am in dire need of a new job than a girlfriend. Well, unless the latter can provide me to pay my bills and my luxury.


About johnthinkingaloud

Finding my purpose still... View all posts by johnthinkingaloud

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